hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
