Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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