mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
