Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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