I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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