I would go down on you faster than GM stock
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
