New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
