I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
