She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
