I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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