Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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