8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think my moral compass just broke
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