As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
