Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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