Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
