you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
and you fell through a lawn chair
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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