Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
