She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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