hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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