I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
