In the future we'll all be gay
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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