i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
