she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
