That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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