I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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