you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think my vagina is haunted
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
