Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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