DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
