Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize