Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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