see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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