He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
