im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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