Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
