Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just want to make out with him forever
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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