just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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