Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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