Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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