ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
