Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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