Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
