next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
