I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
