i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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