I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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