there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize