I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize