I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
