You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
