I puked a lego.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize