sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
