I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
