Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
