So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
