So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
