awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
