marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
