I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
