I could have mohawked her pubes.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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